Marketplace Minister’s Bank of Questions: What’s Your Name?

I was one of the last people to exit the sanctuary after church one Sunday. I spotted her in the church narthex looking self-assured, poised—in a beautiful See Invisible People flowing dress, matching shoes, manicured nails, and exquisite jewelry.

Self assured…poised…and yet panicked…as she stood ALONE in the midst of people greeting, hugging, and laughing.

I approached her with “Hi, my name’s Danita. What’s your name?”

“My name’s Juliann,” she responded. And, then surprising she reached over, hugged me and whispered, “Thank you. It’s so lonely standing here when no one sees me.”

How many times are people standing, working, walking around us, feeling invisible?

Jesus was a friend to the stranger; to those that other’s wouldn’t see or didn’t see. Whether the stranger was at work, in the neighborhood, or at church. He saw them. He reached out to them and engaged in conversation. Maybe it started with a simple question, like, “What’s your name?”

It’s a simple question…with profound results.

“For updated insights, comment on Danita’s upcoming book manuscript, Letters to the King: The Journey of a Reluctant Christian Ambassador. If you need an upcoming speaker for an event, check out her speaking topics.

October 28, 2009 | Filed Under Questions | 2 Comments

Why I Burned My Navy Blue Suit

The First Message

A friend of mine says that God gives each of us a message to bring to the world; almost always something we haven’t mastered in life – something out of our comfort zone. This message will challenge us so much that we must depend on God for strength. In that journey, the message helps us to grow to be all that we are created to be.

I receive my message when I am 15 years old. The image and the words are as clear today as the day I received them; the memory is imprinted into the core of my being. Here’s the story.

First, a question. Have you ever felt God’s presence – really felt it? One fall evening, while I am praying, I am engulfed in a feeling of unconditionally love. I am completely whole, totally pure and clean.

It’s hard to perceive, isn’t it? Imagine an experience we are loved and accepted. Maybe it is with your mom or dad, your grandparents, your spouse or while you are taking care of your children? Stop and capture that feeling…then multiply that by 1000!

It’s during this unconditionally-loved-completely-whole-totally-pure-and-clean time that I sense the message: “Danita, I call you to love.”

Christian Leader

I slowly and deliciously absorb the message.

I’m not certain how long it is or what I am thinking; in fact, I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it but.… I “talk back”! I reply, “God, that doesn’t sound very significant.” Then, I even have the guts to ask, “Couldn’t You give me something more important, more difficult to do?”

It’s as if the world is silent for an eternity as I wait for a reply. Part of me panicked, “Will I be reprimanded for “talking back,” like a grade-school kid who’s fingers get smacked with a ruler for being out-of-line?” Then, gently, knowingly, compassionately, like a wise parent encouraging their young, precious child, I sense, “Don’t worry, Danita, loving will be tough enough for you.”

The Second Message

Fast forward several decades. I walk into an Awesome Women meeting where they are talking about the message each of us brings to the world. I feel as if a lightning bolt strikes at the core of my being. In a quiet inner voice, I hear, “Danita, do you remember the message that I gave you when you were 15 years old? Why are you turning your back on it?”

I begin sobbing. Not gentle sobs, but the kind that cause your whole body to shake – the type of sobbing where you can hardly catch your breath. Why the sobbing?

Because I knew – I knew that for over 25 years I was intentionally minimizing the message, convincing myself that I was only trying to protect my heart from the pain of the the arrows of criticism, judgment, rejection and fear.

Now enters the Navy Blue Suit – the one that I learn to wear at IBM, Xerox Corporation and the rest of the corporate world.

As if a bright light shines – exposing every nook and cranny of my life, I realize that my Navy Blue Suit is my thick, protective armor. Every morning as I prepare for my work routine, I purposely, intentionally don my armor: my Navy Blue Suit. When I wear it, I feel protected. It’s as if my Navy Blue Suit deceitfully whispers, “Think with your head…so your heart won’t get hurt. Be strong. Don’t be vulnerable or share who you really are. Why risk the rejection?”

In the midst of my sobs, I realize that the Navy Blue Suit, which I think is protecting me, is really imprisoning me in a dark dungeon of loneliness and in-authenticity. I am a prisoner in the world I am creating. I must destroy the navy-blue-suit-armor and start living the message.

The Third Message

This is a gut-wrenching decision—putting 25 years of dysfunctional thinking and behavior behind me. Searching for a symbol to signify my resolve to a new way of living, to a life that’s more intentional about living The First Message, I decide on a radical step. (Okay, don’t think I’m nuts, but I decide to burn one of my Navy Blue Suits.)

Rummaging through my closet, wrestling with the decision – which of my 13 navy blue suits would be the lucky memorial – one key thought flashes through my mind like a neon light: “Don’t you have more important things to do?”

A part of me cries, “Yes! I have e-mails to return, clients to call, a long to-do list….a business to run.”

“How ludicrous to burn a perfectly productive suit, Danita!” “Your friends are going to scoff at you! You’re a fool!” The taunts only intensify my resolve. I know there must be something significant in this burning otherwise I wouldn’t be so reluctant.

Fighting my own fears, I finally throw my most prized Navy Blue Suit into the living room fireplace onto the wadded up newspapers, put the bright orange flame to the newspaper, and watch as the flames grow. I reflect….that suit represents so much of who I am. The cut of the fabric and the type of buttons are all chosen to create an illusion – an illusion that slowly suffocated the real Danita.

The Navy Blue Suit that I thought protected my heart is now destroyed. I throw open the windows and a breeze come rushing in, cleaning out the stench. An old tune by Keith Green begins to play in my mind:

Rushing wind…blow through this temple,
Blowing out the dust within,
Come and breathe your breath upon me,
I’ve been born again.

The first message of 25 years ago returns to linger in my thoughts, “Danita, I call you to love.”

Then I remember Jesus’ words, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the most important commandment. The second commandment is; “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matt. 22: 37-39, TEV)

Trustingly, I respond, “Yes, Lord. I know it will be tough to love as You call me to love. However, I will trust your promise that you have come to give me back my heart and to set me free.” As I watch the embers wane, I realize that I had just burned prison chains that prevented me from being whom God created me to be. I know that this new path will require that I rely daily on the Holy Spirit to guide me and protect me … but I know that I am not alone.

Your Message

What are the key messages that you’ve felt God speak to you about? Are you being faithfully obedient to that call on your life?

Danita Bye has extensive experience in both the corporate and entrepreneurial world. She is the founder and CEO of Sales Growth Specialists, one of Minneapolis’ best known sales management consultants, as well as Marketplace-Ministers.com. Danita’s passion is to inspire and encourage Christ-followers in the marketplace to holistically integrate work & faith while authentically and courageously demonstrating God’s love. In addition, Danita is pursuing a Master’s in Transformational Leadership at Bethel University and serves as a Board Member of Cheetah Development which is focused on economic development in emerging growth countries in Africa. Danita can be reached at Danita@SalesGS.com.

October 23, 2009 | Filed Under Character, Identity and Self-Esteem | 1 Comment

An Affirmation of Faith for Marketplace Ministers

Marketplace Ministers Role I’m not certain who the author is or where I got it. I think it’s appropriate for those in the marketplace committed to making a difference.

I am loved and affirmed by God —

Therefore, I am able to love and affirm others.

I am forgiven by God and accepted unconditionally, just as I am,

Therefore, I am able to forgive and accept others unconditionally – just as they are.

I am nourished by the Bread of Life —

Therefore, I am committed to building communities where people are nourished, physically and spiritually.

I am one for whom Christ suffered and died —

Therefore, I am willing to accept the suffering in my life that God may turn it into blessing for me and for others.

I am led through the dark times in my life by the light of God’s love —

Therefore, I can walk with others through their times of darkness.

I am being made whole through God’s love —

Therefore, I am a channel for God’s healing love for others.

I am strengthened by the faith and fellowship of those who have known God’s love —

Therefore, I reach out to share that faith and fellowship.

I am renewed by the peace and stillness of prayer –

Therefore, I pray that others may know God’s peace.

I am blessed a thousand times over by the abundance of life in Christ —

Therefore, I seek to share that abundance with others.

I am filled with joy and thanksgiving —

Therefore, I want the whole world to join me in song and celebration.

AMEN

October 22, 2009 | Filed Under Character, Identity and Self-Esteem | Leave a Comment

Leadership Paradoxes, 2nd

Are you a poet?

Based on some comments, feedback and insights from you, I revised the original Leadership Paradox Poem (see Oct. 8th) and renamed it, “Reins and Rainmaker.” What are your thoughts? What changes would you make? Which do you like better? I value your comments and insights.

October 15, 2009 | Filed Under Leadership | Leave a Comment

4-Step Directive for Marketplace Ministers

I’m challenged with the 4-step directive that Jesus gave the seventy-two (Luke 10:1-9) about how to interact with their world: Faith Beyond Belief for Market Ministers

1. Bless: speak peace to people, including our colleagues and clients. Make friends! (vs. 5-6)

2. Fellowship: build relationships with everyone, even those who aren’t like us, even if they are of another religion. (vs. 7-8)

3. Minister: respond to real needs that people have. Sometimes it’s personal needs; people are sick, frustrated, tired. Sometimes, it can be organizational or corporate needs. (vs. 9a)

4. Proclaim: share your story about why we are ardent followers of Jesus (vs. 9b)

How often we start with #4 and our friends, neighbors, clients and colleagues find us offensive.

So, let’s start speaking a good word to all that we meet. Let’s start blessing others and bringing peace.

I’m thankful to International Transformation Network and Pastor Greg Pagh for sharing these insights. You can find some valuable Faith Beyond Belief that dive into greater details.

October 10, 2009 | Filed Under Character | Leave a Comment

Leadership Paradoxes

Paradox of Leadership Thought I’d share some of my musing with you through this “Leadership Paradoxes Poem.”

Leadership Paradoxes

In times of adversity—

We focus on delivering our business results;

We’re expected to be strong leaders with a compelling vision;

However, to inspire the vision, we must serve our client, employee and constituents.

We inspire and create new opportunities;

And, yet, we also need to provide resource and reduce risk.

We create discipline to guide decisions and actions;

And, yet, that discipline is useless without the creative talents of our teams.

We exude external, confident strength to our teams;

And, yet, we can’t delude ourselves—we must be intensely in touch with our own internal misgivings and fears.

We’re called upon to stir a strong faith-in-the-future for our followers;

And yet, we’re called upon daily to deal courageously with the facts-of-current-reality.

We are laser-focused on delivering bottom-line results;

And, to deliver those results, we also focus on nurturing relationships of with those around us.

We access all the resources and talent that we can;

While relying on the Almighty for wisdom and insight.

October 8, 2009 | Filed Under Leadership | Leave a Comment

Got Sisu? What we learn from the Finnish about Persistence

I spent the weekend at the Hostfest in Minot, N.D., the largest Scandinavian festival in the United States. It was an incredible time watching the rosemaling (Norwegian rose painting), wood carving, silver crafting artisans; listening to the folk singers; dining in Oslo Hall; listening to some great musicians, country, bluegrass, The Oak Ridge Boys and Ray Stevens; and understanding my Finnish/Danish heritage.

However, the highlight of Hostfest was learning about the word,“sisu.” Sales Leadership and Sisu

Let me explain. I grew up in a Finnish community in North Dakota. And, yes, true to our heritage, we took saunas, not the wimpy saunas that you often find in North American hotels, but realsaunas where we stoked the wood stove in order to get over 176 °F. Invigorating! Since we didn’t have the modern convenience of running water when I was a child, the every-Saturday-evening sauna was a “must” event, not a luxury. Little did I know that this half-a-football-field trek that we often took in the middle of snowstorms when it was 20 below zero and the wind was howling through the Knife River Valley was “sisu” training.

What’s sisu? It means unreasonable, uncompromising will, determination, perseverance, courage, tenacity, and persistence. You’ll want to read what Wikipedia has to say: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisu

As I reflected on sisu, I realized that this is the character trait James 1:2-4 talks about,”My friends, consider yourselves fortunate when all kinds of trials come your way, for you know that when your faith succeeds in facing such trials, the result is the ability to endure. Make sure your endurance carries you all the way without failing, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

Got sisu?

October 5, 2009 | Filed Under Character | 1 Comment

Speed Bumps and Self Esteem

I wrote this article a couple of years ago when my kids were younger. However, the wisdom for all Marketplace Ministers who are juggling the many priorities of life, still stands. As I reread the article, I hear Simon & Garfunkel’s Feelin’ Groovy lyrics!

Every Tuesday afternoon at 5:20 as I’m driving my kids to their piano lessons, my youngest daughter Danae yells from the backseat, “Mom, slow down! Speed bump ahead!” Instinctively, I slam on the brakes—everything and everyone crashes forward.

It seems my life is filled with speed bumps. Sometimes I slow down for them, but more often than not, I bottom out. My life gets thrown out of alignment, and I wobble to the nearest repair shop to get back in balance.

It was 1997. Feeling self-confident, I purchased my own business—a snow related manufacturing company. The problems began almost immediately. Remember El Nino? It hit that year…and it didn’t snow for the next 3 winters. I lost money—lots of money. Plus, I hated manufacturing. I hated working by myself. And, most wrenching, I despised failure. With success ripped away, I bottomed out. In fact, I needed an overhaul! I was in desperate need of a spiritual Goodyear shop.

Then, God revealed to me why I kept bottoming out. I was basing my identity on a false foundation—my own performance and accomplishments. God showed me that the only way to spend less time in the shop was to base my identity and self-esteem on His truth.

What can we do recognize the truth of who God says we are and prevent the speed bumps in life from sending us to the repair shop? Here are some ideas to help us recognize God’s perspective.

Study: Scripture is overflowing with truth of who God says we are. For example, in the first chapter of Ephesians, the author Paul exuberantly expounds on our identity in Christ. For starters, we are blessed with every spiritual blessing, chosen, holy, blameless, children…and the list goes on. This may be a great start for discovering how highly God esteems you.

Read: I’ve found a couple of authors with valuable insights on this topic. Neil Anderson, in his book Victory over Darkness, includes a list of scriptures that addresses the following topics: I am accepted, I am secure, and I am significant. In addition, he lists 36 scriptures that answer the question “Who am I in Christ?” I’ve also found John Eldredge, author of Sacred Romance, to be helpful.

Meditate: Once we realize what God says about our identity, we must begin to cement these truths into our heart to create a solid foundation to live by. When King David said, “Thy word have I had in my heart, that I might not sin against thee (Ps. 119:11),” he was talking about the importance of meditating and memorizing scripture.

Once we recognize our true identity in Christ, the Holy Spirit begins to expose the gaps between truth and what we believe. With false beliefs, exposed, we can choose to neutralize those lies, embrace truth and walk in the security and significance that He desire for us. Those unexpected speed bumps will not send us rushing to the spiritual repair shop as quickly once we clearly know who we are in Christ.

This is an important truth for Marketplace Ministers to integrate into their lives as it is high-impact in our being Salt and Light in our world.

October 1, 2009 | Filed Under Identity and Self-Esteem | Leave a Comment

About Danita

Danita’s passion is to inspire and encourage Christ-followers in the marketplace to integrate work & faith while authentically and courageously demonstrating God’s love.

Bold and Refreshing

Danita has a special gift of igniting others into action. Her skill and experience, partnered with ministry insight, makes Danita a powerful marketplace minister! Her sharp precision cuts right to the heart of business matters – assisting others in breaking new ground for Kingdom Advancement!
- Rhonda M. Kalal, President
MN Christian Chamber of Commerce

Connects in Conversation

"Danita delivered a powerful, insightful and thought-provoking talk that dramatically kicked off the new semester with great success. She is a polished, professional and prepared speaker, yet connects with her audience as if she were having a conversation with a good friend. Thank you, Danita!"
- Heather Lam
Communications & Marketing Director
Moms In Step, Woodridge Church
Medina, Minnesota

Bio

Danita Bye has extensive experience in both the corporate and entrepreneurial world. She is the founder of Sales Growth Specialists and author of Leadership Shift. It's her passion to integrate work and faith. Click here for more information about Danita.

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